Monday, April 11, 2005

Return of the P.U.G.G.S.

That's right. The newspaper reports haven't been lying, and those ugly rumors you heard are true: the P.U.G.G.S. are back.

It always happens this time of year. The weather gets nice, people spend more time outside, and the P.U.G.G..S. come out. You start to see a few of them walking down the street in clusters, always in packs of 4-6, with their cute haircuts, stylish handbags and strappy sandals.

At Slightly Pretentious Olde School University, where the Queer Justices hold court, the P.U.G.G.S. presence is especially strong. Just this weekend they were spotted on the campus green, walking past the Bubble Tea place, and the Bearish Leather Bar (kidding about that one). Move over Plastics, because the true Mean Girls have arrived.

The Power UnderGraduate GayS have an aura all their own: young, pretty, thin, with slightly edgey hairstyles (using pomade, never gel) and just enough fashion sophistication to put an Urban Outfitters corduroy blazer over their Gap polo shirt.

As a former member of the F.U.U.G.S. organization (Fat Unattractive Undergraduate GayS), and current member of the F.A.G.G.S. club (FAbulous Graduate GayS) I have an ambivalent relationship with the P.U.G.G.S. On one hand, I find them attractive and younger version of myself that I want to mentor, support and know (biblically), and on the other hand they're Mean Girls: exclusive, conniving, incestual and loved by straight girls at prestigious universities across the world for it.

Well, at least they're funny.


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